harmonize_rpg | and you ignore it; you implore it

Sayuri had decided to make herself useful.

Granted, it hadn't been as much of a decision as much as it had been the way things were naturally just supposed to be. She had to carry her weight in the group, she was the new one and on the very first mission she had to do, she had been utterly useless. Sayuri knew she couldn't let that happen again, especially not when so much was at stake. Even though she hadn't spoken much to her roommate, Miyume's death still felt like it was her fault somehow. For maybe not speaking up more to her when she should have. She hadn't even been sleeping at all because of it, but even so she just tried her best to attend her classes and even do all this extra work after school instead of napping. She had to.

So currently Sayuri was standing in front of the bookshelves with books about mythology and maybe even some about spirituality and spirits and the like. Not any ordinary subject, and certainly not one she would ever have to study in class for the most part. Even so, she was trying to get quite some books from the shelves to try and carry over to a nearby table.. but she sure didn't expect anyone to pay attention to her. That was where she was wrong.

So very wrong.

The library was a better place than people thought it was. When it wasn't full during exam season, it wasn't uncommon to find other people who thought the library was a nice, quiet private place and then see what they let slip when they thought no one would be listening. It also wasn't a bad place to binge read old serial stories, though the school didn't seem to keep more diverse materials.

It wasn't long before Yuri got bored so she got up and explored a bit among the stacks she'd been through a dozen times this year already. What caught her attention today was a younger girl she'd regularly seen - it was like she lived in the library. But while the girl was usually reading textbooks and history and other dry boring stuff, today was different.

So Yuri stopped, peered over the girl and her stack, and said,

"That's different than your usual fair."

Even if Yuri might have spotted Sayuri often, the girl tended to get lost in thoughts and in what she was reading so often while she was at the library that she hardly even recognized Yuri. So when she was suddenly spoken to by someone, the girl at first blinked, but then it turned into something a little more surprised when the content of the words dawned upon her. Different..? Wait, how would someone she didn't even know know that much?

It made her feel a little awkward, but she gulped and tried to swallow the feeling down as much as she could. Come on, Sayuri, just act normal.. "Um.. I suppose it is." Awkward... "I'm sorry if it's a rude question, but.. do I know you..?"

"Not personally," Yuri replied dismissively, until she added with a bit of pride. "You might have seen my name in the school paper though.

"But more importantly, you've gone from textbooks and history books....to this." She pointed a finger at one of the books spines. "Why?"

At least that tidbit narrowed down the options of who this person was. Sure, it made sense if a person like that would go around questioning others to find out news and all, but.. why her? It wouldn't seem that interesting for her to read books even if the topics were different, right? Sure, of course there was a huge story behind that, but Sayuri sincerely hoped it wouldn't seem that way to anyone else.

It's why she just nervously adjusted her glasses a little bit. "I was just reading.. I already finished my homework for school."

Yuri's eyes slid over the other girl again. There was a certain keen interest there that was reminiscent to looking under a microscope or a fox eyeing a hen at the edge of it's enclosure before nodding to herself as she pressed further,

"So this is the sort of stuff you're into when you're not reading the dry stuff?"

.. Oh no. If she said yes to that, wouldn't she be seen as weird? After all, being into things like spirituality or mythology didn't exactly seem like the most proper thing, let alone the most useful thing.. and Sayuri always ensured that she seemed like a hardworking student, since that's what she wanted to be. Someone who could be of use to others and society at large, who wasn't a burden.

She couldn't meet Yuri's gaze any longer and instead stared at the book in her hands like it became very interesting all of a sudden. "Um.. I thought it might be interesting for once. I usually never really read about it before, no."

"Oh. That's boring," Yuri replied, suddenly dismissively and even disappointingly. She picked up one of the books from the younger girl's pile and thumbed through it.

"Why grab a whole pile? It's not like you'd know if you like this stuff."

Edited 2014-01-28 08:23 (UTC)

"I.. want to make sure to be prepared."

Her gaze slid downwards now. Anything to avoid the other girl's eyes during a confrontation like this. If she was found out now, she would ruin it for everyone, so.. maybe she had to just let her reputation suffer a little, as utterly awful as that sounded, as long as it was for a good cause.

Sayuri tries to brush back some of her hair, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry if I have done anything wrong.."

Yuri clicked her tongue in irritation at the girl's apology before saying, "I don't know. Have you done anything wrong?

"What do you mean by prepared?" She flipped through another book from the pile. "Are you one of those people who think that Hazama's ghost is running around?"

She would prefer to not answer the first question. After all, she lied just now, and that would already be the same as doing something wrong.. but she couldn't admit that, no matter what. She's sure the secrecy she's sworn is supposed to take priority over everything else. Besides, she didn't even really have time to answer the question since then the other one already happened-- and that one was enough to completely distract Sayuri from the other thing altogether. Just the mention of her former roommate was enough to make her wince. Of course it was because of the guilt she felt over the girl's death, but it could easily be taken as her subconsciously admitting to what Yuri was asking.

Even if that wasn't what she was scared of. Since she didn't believe it. If only her ghost was here, then maybe she could still have asked for forgiveness..

"H.. H-Hazama-san's ghost..?"

Yuri stood, arms akimbo and that fox gaze sharpening as she sized the other girl up.

"That's what's been going around. Unless you have another theory you want to share." She leaned in. "What's really bugging you?"

Sayuri quickly shook her head.

"N.. no, I was.. just worried about that possibility as well." She was mentally apologizing to Miyume even as she said that. It wasn't really what she was scared of, but even so, the idea of ghosts themselves was scary enough, so it wasn't hard to just try to focus on that feeling and fake it that way. "Do you think it's very likely..?" God, she just really wanted to step back the closer the other girl leaned over, but somehow it seemed impolite, so instead she just started to look really awkward.

"No way," Yuri said bluntly, and there was that dismissive, disappointment again before she added, "If her ghost is around I sure haven't sniffed her out yet." She said that like she'd actually checked.

"So all this research is for her? Really?"

Yuri was so blunt that it was practically hard for Sayuri to deal with all around, but.. on the other hand, the girl knew that she at least had to cover up their secret. Even if she was just feeling majorly uncomfortable in the situation. After a quite moment of thinking she replied, "Wouldn't you be scared if your roommate suddenly died..?"

There was a sudden shift. It happened over a split second where Yuri went from her pushing and confident to looking like she'd been tripped up horribly to full on guilt.

"Oh shit - you're her roommate?" She tried drawing herself up but her stance wasn't as confident as it was when their interrogation started and she tugged at her hat before saying in a much less blunt tone, "Why didn't you say so!? Now I look like a complete insensitive-" she made a hand motion as if to say the other girl could finish the word herself.

Too bad Sayuri wasn't the type who could ever insult anyone. Especially not out loud. So she just stared at the other girl as if she was waiting for Yuri to finally finish her sentence, but after a moment or two of uncomfortable silence even Sayuri could understand that wasn't really going to happen anymore. Instead she awkwardly pushes her glasses a little further up her nose.

"You didn't ask.. I apologize if I should have." Because it was far from this girl to ever lie the blame for things with anyone else than herself.

"Don't apologize! Get angry or indignant or throw a book at me!" Yuri snapped, looking even more irritated now. "Honestly, if someone were an insensitive twit to you what you should be doing is getting angry! You should be holding onto that so if you really wanted to you could whip out 'Btw didja here? Yuri Kurashiki was a total insensitive twit to Hazama's roommate. What a bitch amIrite?'.

"Ugh, now I look even worse for chewing you out!" She thunked the book she was holding against her head.

Edited 2014-02-09 23:09 (UTC)

Sayuri could only stare at the other girl with wide eyes as she rambled on. She didn't understand a bit about what was going on-- weren't they supposed to always be polite to other people in society? Like she could ever really get that mad at anyone and call them a.. well, the b-word! Her eyes grew wider as Yuri kept on going and when the girl started to hit herself with the book, Sayuri weakly reached out with one hand.

"A.. ah, p-please don't hurt yourself..! Really, it's okay, you couldn't have known.."

Although it was sort of insensitive to harass people like that in general, but still.. Sayuri almost looked apologetic, like she was the one who did something wrong here.

"I'm sorry."

That seemed to calm Yuri down for a moment. She pulled the book away and nodded to herself, "Well, yeah, like I said you should have said something. But still-"

She pointed the book at the other girl and ordered, "You still don't get to say you're sorry for someone else being an insensitive bitch. So as your senpai, I order you to never say I'm sorry over this again."

It was almost as if Sayuri was shrinking on the spot. Then again, maybe it was just because of the way she was starting to bend her head forwards more and more..

".. I understand, senpai." As if she could ever ignore a direct command from anyone who was remotely superior to her, either way. "I promise I won't say sorry over something like this again.."

"Good." Yuri nodded with a grin before adding, "And this isn't just with me! You aren't allowed to say you're sorry over something like this to anyone else. Got it?"

For all Yuri's previous direct pushiness before, she seemed much lighter now, more like she was giving general advice than an order.

"N.. not in any case?" This was definitely going to be a tall order. Not that Sayuri wouldn't try to keep to that advice all the same since it was one of her senpai telling her it, but still, saying sorry usually came to her so naturally..

"I'm not sure if I'm entirely allowed to judge though whether other people are being.. um.. out of line or not though.."

Really obviously trying to avoid repeating words like "insensitive bitch" there, yes.

"Um, yeah, of course not in any case!" Yuri said leaning in again, that directness back,

"And what do you mean you're not allowed to judge other people? Everybody does! If you feel uncomfortable, you should say so. If you're feeling like someone's pushing to hard you should shove back. And if you think someone's out of line, you should speak up and remind insensitive bitches and bastards of their boundaries. This is another directive."

"S-.. senpai, that's.."

.. Going too far, but putting it that bluntly felt rude.. So Sayuri tried to quickly - even with her panicked thoughts - find an alternative way of putting it that wouldn't come across as blunt.

"That might be.. um.. a little too harsh.."

There was the urge to try and hide behind the books again. If only it was a feasible option, really.

"I don't see why," Yuri replied, with a slight shrug of her shoulder and a dismissive gesture that implied she really didn't. "All you're doing is speaking your mind. Which is much better than making things awkward for you and the other person when it comes out that they went out of line."

How was she supposed to answer to that? She should probably explain that the polite thing to do was to not speak up and speak out of turn, but on the other hand, Sayuri didn't really know how to put that either.. it was like this whole conversation was just about her trying to avoid saying certain things, huh?

".. If you say so, senpai."

Yeah, she was exactly doing what Yuri was talking about there at the end, but Sayuri didn't really care. She just had to do what was expected of her, after all.

Something flickered on Yuri's face for a moment. It looked strangely blank and unreadable before Yuri 'hmphed' and said, "Whatever. Just remember to do what I say and you'll be fine. Got that?"

Not waiting for a reply, she adjusted her hat and reached for a card that'd been tucked in it. It was actually a small stack, on closer inspection, and on it was neatly printed kanji 'KURASHIKI YURI - SCHOOL PRESS AND INFORMATION SERVICES'. She grinned as she held it out to the other girl, "Here. If you want to talk more or if you want a little bit of knowledge at your disposal."

Sayuri took the card from the other girl with a small nod, her gaze immediately falling to it to read the letters on it. Kurashiki Yuri, huh.. Sayuri might not be the kind of person to go out of her way to seek out contact with others necessarily since she sucked so much at it, but the thing about knowledge might come in handy in the future. Maybe they'd have to investigate something at some point to do business related to that other world.. although then there would be the problem of thinking how to ask Yuri's help without her noticing what for. But that was all just a hypothetical if scenario, either way.

"Thank you, I won't forget it.." A small bow followed. "I should get back to reading now though before it gets late."

The lack of sleep was really starting to catch up with her, but even so, Sayuri tried to ignore it the best she could as she was reading through the books and taking notes on what could be important for later. She could just try to sleep again tonight or something, for now she really had to do this. If she couldn't make herself useful, then maybe she wouldn't be able to prevent another death just like Miyume's. She would be useless again.

But even as she was thinking about that, she could slowly feel her eyes falling shut without her even being able to do anything about it. And although the girl managed to open them up again once or twice, in the end they fully fell shut and the girl just collapsed on the table, lying there as she was sleeping right on top of the notes she was taking and the open book.

"Inoue-san?"

Kisa's voice was quiet, and the touch on Sayuri's shoulder was light, the minimum Kisa thought would be needed to awaken her.

The older girl looked down at her with a worried frown. That had been, as far as she knew, Sayuri's first trip into the other world -- and for her to have to deal with all that on top of what had actually happened...

"Are you all right?"

She wasn't sleeping too deeply thanks to having passed out here rather than properly sleeping in her bed, so the touch was already enough to make the girl suddenly jerk up until she was sitting straight again in her chair, letting out a gasp. For a moment she just quickly glanced around her like she had no idea where she even was or what had just happened, but it was slowly starting to dawn upon her just why she would randomly wake up in the library.

She nervously tried to straighten her glasses. "S.. senpai, I'm.. I'm sorry!" Oh gosh, she just fell asleep like that in the middle of a public place.. even with the circumstances, there was no way she could excuse herself for that.

"Please, don't worry about it. I understand." Kisa might not have been dealing with insomnia herself, but she understood the feelings of those who did.

"May I sit here?" She gestured toward a vacant chair next to Sayuri. "I don't think I've had a chance to properly introduce myself since... everything happened."

Although there was something slightly hesitant about it, Sayuri at least nodded in response to the other girl's question. As if she would ever be bold enough to deny anyone a seat either way.

And while Kisa was preoccupied with sitting down, the girl quickly took a moment to rub her eyes to get the half-sleepy feeling out of her mind before replying. "Hmm, I don't think anyone would blame you.. I mean, we've been.." What was the word for that, even? ".. busy, after all."

and you ignore it; you implore it

sayuri + yuri

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sayuri + kisa

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