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Who: Miyume and Kisa
Where: Miyume's dorm room
When: April 28 (Showa Day - Friday), early afternoon
What: Study date. Kisa's worried and Miyume needs help.

Her cellphone chimed.

Miyume didn't check the text immediately, instead just stared at the phone apprehensively for a long moment. What if it was Mirai? She was too exhausted to fend him off in her current fragile state. Life hurt too much right now and it was a struggle to just keep afloat in a sea of sorrow and painful memories. If something didn't change, they'd drag her under and she'd drown with no one ever being the wiser. It was a vicious cycle. People saw only what they wanted to see in her and in turn, she wanted to go on pleasing them by making certain that was the only Hazama Miyume they ever knew.

But she couldn't just ignore the text either. It could be from someone else, after all. Saiga-senpai was supposed to help her study today, after all. And she'd decided to tell her everything. Reluctantly, Miyume picked up the phone to see who it was from, breathing an audible sigh of relief when she saw that it was Saiga-senpai, after all. She was coming straight here instead of meeting elsewhere that day.

Miyume had just managed to throw on some clothes and pop a couple of painkillers when there was a knock at the door. She quickly washed them down with one of the bottles of water she'd been keeping on hand for just that purpose. Once she'd done that, she grabbed the walker she'd pulled out of the closet yesterday and slowly made her way to the door.

"Coming, senpai!"

There was a moment of loud shuffling as Miyume unlocked and opened the door. Both the room behind her and her general appearance were distinctly untidy, not to the point of being a complete disaster area, but Miyume wasn't feeling well enough to take care of herself or her room by herself and it showed.

"Thank you for coming by, Saiga-senpai," she greeted weakly, moving out of the way the best she could to let her into the room.

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"I'm sorry to impose," Kisa replied with a faint, worried smile as she took the unspoken invitation to walk inside. "I didn't want to make you go to the trouble of going out."

Unspoken, but implied, was 'I don't want you to strain yourself'. Kisa had heard about the worsening of Miyume's physical state, at any rate, and steadfastly ignored the few rumors about the rest that trickled into her class. She had some inkling that all was not well between Miyume and Mirai, but that was none of her business.

One look at the room and Miyume's state confirmed her worries, but that, too, was not her place to comment on. She shifted the bag of books she'd brought with her; although Miyume was her junior, she'd still thought it best to bring a few things that might be useful.

"Where would you like to start?"

"Umm..."

Miyume went blank. She needed to study desperately and there was so much she had fallen behind on. Was there an area of her academic life that hadn't suffered in some way or another from her close association with Mirai and the distractions that had resulted in? Miyume went quiet, looking quite subdued, as she made her way over to the desk and sat down. With the absence of a roommate, both the other desk and chair were still free.

She rifled a bit through the materials she'd gathered, looking quite flustered and embarrassed as she did so. Miyume's weariness and vulnerability showed quite plainly in the faint, but constant strain behind her expression. The girl looked like she might burst into tears again at the moment; her eyes were faintly red as if she'd been crying a lot recently. After a moment, she pulled out her social studies homework.

"This would be a good place to start," she stated softly. "I don't feel I understand how some things are done in our society or what makes them so important for us to learn."

For a long moment, it was difficult to read Kisa's expression. There was clearly a lot more going on here than she knew, and real studying was likely to be a losing proposition.

But she smiled softly, kindly, and nodded, taking the other chair. The bag was set down on the floor, away from the pair, and her focus was on Miyume rather than the book. "I can understand that. There are a lot of things in society that can be complicated. What do you need help with?"

Though it was a perfectly reasonable and rational question, Miyume's mind went blank again. 'Everything' wasn't a very helpful response, was it? And too broad and demanding for one person to answer. It wasn't like she believed Kisa could shed more light on everything she'd been taught both at school at home. But she'd clearly gone astray after coming to Chitoku and needed help staying on the proper path.

Miyume knew exactly what she needed to ask about but the deep feelings of shame and embarrassment returned in full. For a long moment, she simply stared unseeingly at her social studies notebook, tears filling her eyes again. She tried to blink them back but one slid down her cheek and before she knew it, there came another.

Miyume bowed her head even more, wanting more than anything to give herself over to that gentle kindness and let it shape her into something far less despicable and pitiful. Fear and shame paralyzed her. Was she even worth forgiveness anymore after her selfish exploration of the forbidden and taboo?

When she finally spoke, it was with a catch in her voice and little more than a whisper.

"Purity, senpai. Can you teach me about purity?"

Edited 2013-10-19 23:51 (UTC)

There was something very, very wrong here, and Kisa had difficulty fathoming what it could be. There were any number of things she'd have expected Miyume to ask, but that was not one of them.

Unless...

There had, now that she thought about it, been something in the rumors. She'd dismissed it without a second thought at the time -- it couldn't possibly be true -- but now it arose again in the back of her mind. It still might not be true, but there weren't a lot of other explanations she could come up with.

At any rate, she decided, the time for the studying facade had long passed. Putting her elbows in her lap, she leaned in, concern plainly written on her face. "What happened, Hazama-san?"

Edited 2013-10-20 03:07 (UTC)

It was like those words triggered a downpour. Miyume's fragile veneer of self-control crumbled immediately and tears began flowing freely once more. It didn't take long for her to become a trembling sobbing mess. But Kisa had asked her a question. She had to get a hold of herself and try to answer, at least. Even though it'd been some time since she'd made her decision, this kind of talk wasn't something she'd been able to think through much on her own, much less actually rehearse. She couldn't even talk about these sorts of things with her own mother or her best friend. How could she know how someone as nice and admirable as her senpai would react?

"Imaizumi-san. We were dating," she said, finally. "Nothing happened. It can't because I can't do things like that. I'm so embarrassed. There was another girl, Sakakibara Yoshino, he was interested in. Probably because she can do things I can't anymore. I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense. This month's been really, really hard."

That started up a fresh well-spring of tears which Miyume forced herself to choke back and continue.

"My phone," she said after taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself. "It's on my nightstand. All the messages we ever sent each other are archived on it. If you read those first, I can explain. But... you might not like me afterward. He brings out the terrible person in me."

It was a huge risk and Miyume was terrified but she didn't know what to do. She wasn't like Yoshino. She didn't have a Sachiko here to turn to in times of trouble and doubt when she needed it.

"I'm not pure anymore, senpai. I wish I was."

Even saying this much was a painfully visible strain on her. Miyume just buried her face in her hands and wept.

When the tears started, Kisa put a gentle hand on Miyume's shoulder, and let the younger girl get everything out that she needed to get out. Now that she had a slightly better idea of what was going on, she was a little bewildered -- both by the matter itself and by the vehemence of Miyume's reaction.

Though she wanted to just reassure Miyume, it seemed important to her that Kisa know everything, and so she cautiously picked up the phone from the nightstand, returning straight to her seat. The messages painted what seemed to her to be a clear but worrying picture -- an innocent girl swept into a whirlwind romance by a manipulative playboy.

She was going to have to keep a very, very close eye on Imaizumi from now on.

When she was done, she set the phone aside and returned her attention to the younger girl. "It's all right, Hazama-san. It's very easy to fall for someone like that. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Edited 2013-10-21 00:38 (UTC)

Kisa's words stunned Miyume out of her tears for the moment. They didn't stop completely but they slowed, at least. Miyume wiped her eyes with the back of her hand in a rather ineffective gesture. Now it was her turn to be the confused one. It wasn't as if Miyume had been completely blameless throughout the events that had led up to this. She'd certainly been a willing participant in all those texts and dates, after all.

"I didn't know what to do," she admitted in a quiet, subdued tone. "No one's ever pursued me or taken an interest in me like that before. My mother taught me some things but it's different when it's happening. It's hard to think clearly."

She sniffled.

"Then there was everything with the shinmen, I just kept getting sicker, and he wouldn't give me any space. It felt like I couldn't breathe and things just kept piling up more and more. Kuroe-san, my neighbor, has been really sweet and a great help but..."

Miyume trailed off, glancing at her walker once then quickly away again.

"It's a lot to deal with," she finished sheepishly.

Kisa nodded sympathetically. It was, she thought, hearing everything from Miyume, for the best all around that she'd been taken off active duty. It would only have made things worse for her. "It really is. Love can be confusing even when everything else is going fine. And with all that other stress..."

She paused for a moment. Kuroe... That couldn't be Chloe? She hadn't struck Kisa as anywhere near the type for it, and 'sweet' was certainly not a word she'd use to to describe her. But she had, now that she thought about it, seen a katakana name near the next door over...

"Abendroth-san is..." She hesitated briefly. "She's a strong person. I'm glad she's there to help you."

"She's been really kind to me," she continued, fishing a handkerchief out of a desk drawer and proceeded to dry her eyes with it. "Kuroe-chan went with me to Mirai-" She caught herself. "Imaizumi-san's practice. I had a feeling I shouldn't go there alone after what he said about me on the network."

Miyume colored a little at the embarrassing memory. She really would have preferred Mirai not broadcasting their troubles to the whole school. Of course, she'd been just as careless with her own improper behavior. People couldn't talk about a girl that gave them nothing to talk about and she'd given them plenty, it seemed.

"I'd asked him for a break. Things were getting so serious so fast and I'm sick." She sighed. "I didn't think he'd go public. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

Miyume made no attempt to apologize for 'them' as a unit. It'd be best for everyone if she stopped thinking of them as partners, especially after he'd so callously betrayed her trust and treated her with such disrespect.

Edited 2013-10-21 08:46 (UTC)

'Kuroe-chan'. It sounded so strange to Kisa, as if they weren't even talking about the same person. It really wasn't what she ought to be focusing on, she knew, but her mind kept coming back to it.

"Please, don't worry about it. It's not your fault." Ah, Imaizumi's ikebana post on the network. Now that she had some idea of what had been going on at the time, it was... Well, it was worse, really. She was finding that the longer the conversation went, the faster her opinion of her classmate plummeted. 'Critical thinking' class was likely to be... interesting from here on, she suspected.

"It's good that you're getting away from him now."

How strange to think of turning away from Mirai, even after all that had transpired. Before, she had thought more in terms of space to breathe and separation. The thought of a more permanent parting from someone who'd rapidly secured himself a firm place in her heart left her uneasy. But that was the natural course of these events, wasn't it?

Miyume wore a conflicted expression similar to the one she'd worn with Yoshino the other day. At least, she'd gotten through to the other girl. At the cost of her relationship, as toxic as it had become, but she'd done the right thing, hadn't she? Her heart hadn't completely been poisoned.

Still, it was hard to just let go of a relationship that had made her so happy or feel like someone might be able to accept her, darkness and all, someday. But she had to make a choice. It was either her or him and for once in her life, she was choosing herself.

"It'd be best if he and I did stay away from each other," she said, sounding a bit uncertain. "We're just not good for each other as we are now."

It was probably for the best that Miyume had been removed from active duty as well. Between the pressure of obligation and the weight of Mirai's gaze constantly upon her, the results could have been catastrophic for more than just herself.

"Um, thank you, senpai," she said after a moment. "For everything... Listening, coming by... It means a lot to me that you care."

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